So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
This toilet bowl is my home.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
