Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
