I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
