To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She's the barista slut.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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