But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
