addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
