she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
