My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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