and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize