Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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