Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
