I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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