Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
