Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
MIDGETS
????
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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