Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
