last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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