oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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