I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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