I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
