Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
