I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
