she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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