You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
