Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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