Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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