my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He better not be in your backpack
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
