i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
