Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
