No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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