I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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