hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
