before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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