well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
