Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize