I love black thongs
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
