Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?

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(626): View more from California

do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?

Fav 4 2009 1073
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(850): View more from Florida

Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here

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(201): View more from New Jersey

MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

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(813): View more from Florida

Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.

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(858): View more from California

He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"

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(256): View more from Alabama

He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.

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