theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
