I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think my fart just growled at me.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
