Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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