i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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