I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
