We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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