Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize