I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My feet surprised me
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