I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize