I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
