Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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