I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
