just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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