PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
