We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I have fence marks all over my body
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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