Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
