We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
