does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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