We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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