Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
