were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
