dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
