ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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