why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
