Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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