Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
