apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
love makes seman taste better
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
