I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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