I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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