remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
