he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
