Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I love having hate sex.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
