you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
