it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
