Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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