You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
