We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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