The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
