I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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