I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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