I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
