You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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