I'm going to jail i love you
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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